Last night, I tried to eat my cat...

[Adwyn]

I woke up this morning, much like many other mornings. Oddly enough, I had numerous claw marks on my arms - I assumed I had got a tad rough in the teasing of my beloved cat, George. Putting the thought aside, I shuffled into the kitchen.

It was only as I was walking past the microwave with, bowl of cereal in one hand, shot of whiskey in the other, that I noticed something was amiss. The microwave door was open, and further inspection revealed great clumps of fur scattered throughout.

My friends, last night I think I tried to eat my cat.

[JohnnyT]

I woke up this morning, much like many other mornings. Oddly enough, I had numerous claw marks on my arms - I assumed I had got a tad rough in the teasing of my beloved cat, George. Putting the thought aside, I shuffled into the kitchen.

It was only as I was walking past the microwave with, bowl of cereal in one hand, shot of whiskey in the other, that I noticed something was amiss. The microwave door was open, and further inspection revealed great clumps of fur scattered throughout.

My friends, last night I think I tried to eat my cat.

You're doing it right.

[Negromancer]

I woke up this morning, much like many other mornings. Oddly enough, I had numerous claw marks on my arms - I assumed I had got a tad rough in the teasing of my beloved cat, George. Putting the thought aside, I shuffled into the kitchen.

It was only as I was walking past the microwave with, bowl of cereal in one hand, shot of whiskey in the other, that I noticed something was amiss. The microwave door was open, and further inspection revealed great clumps of fur scattered throughout.

My friends, last night I think I tried to eat my cat.

I hear you say you "think" you ate your cat. Any more details? Did you find any remains? Is it still alive? How do you figure you would season and serve it?
This is why my wench won't let me have any pets, and why she doesen't want me to travel to countries with too exotic cuisine.

[Oggar]

It wasn't to long ago I found a throw pillow covered in hot sauce in the microwave. Strange how the ineddible somehow becomes eddible when you're drunk enough. Maybe this will help me take a little mystery out of so called delicacies and who-would-ever-think-to-eat-that foods. Makes me look at sea cannabalism a little differently too, remember the Woody Woodpecker cartoons where people are starving and start klooking around thinking the other person is fodd? Just saying.

[Negromancer]

well, I think your theory has one flaw: How does it explain Cantonese cuisine? These people will eat everything with legs and isn't furniture, and I hear they aren't exactly big drinkers!

I find cartoon cannibalism more logical; it's more understandable if people actually had hallucinations of their fellow crew or caravaneers as walking steaks and milkshakes. Personally I'm not too picky, and I'm sure I wouldn't hesitate tasting some of that nice human jerky. As I said before; there is a reason my girlfriend won't let me keep pets.

[Mayhem]

There is no try, only do.

[tisbor]

what can i say , better luck next time...

[peetie44]

What's so unusual about eating a little pussy from time to time?

And yes; there ARE often claw marks as a result...

[Slim]

Better him than you.

[lmr5150]

If your intoxication leads you to killing animals: 1) you can't hold your mud; 2) you are a serial killer in waiting; 3) if you continue, enjoy your life of getting ass-raped undrunk in jail.

A dope like me can drink twice as much as you and not even think of killing an animal for sport.

[gnarkill]

If your intoxication leads you to killing animals: 1) you can't hold your mud; 2) you are a serial killer in waiting; 3) if you continue, enjoy your life of getting ass-raped undrunk in jail.

A dope like me can drink twice as much as you and not even think of killing an animal for sport.

come on, man! he was just playing wit da puddy tat!

[ThirstyDrunk]

If your intoxication leads you to killing animals: 1) you can't hold your mud; 2) you are a serial killer in waiting; 3) if you continue, enjoy your life of getting ass-raped undrunk in jail.

A dope like me can drink twice as much as you and not even think of killing an animal for sport.

come on, man! he was just playing wit da puddy tat!

Yeah, the next pet I eat will probably get me busted. But I can liove with that, I've gotten away with it long enough

[libertyjug68]

I woke one morning while camping and remarked to my friends "i think I fell in the fire". To which someone replied "If you think you fell into the fire you probably did". Have you found that cat?

[Negromancer]

Sometimes I get awfully hungry at work, and there is a great deal of wild cats lurking about. Good thing I have my bow and arrows with me!

[Curb Feeler]

I see Peetie already made the pussy joke.

Well done. Carry on.