Are all bartenders this dumb?

[Resident Asshole]

First of all, I am a bartender, so I'm probably biased, but jeebus.

Ok, so last night my dart league started. We play at a bar we don't normally attend. Hot waitress. Good start. All downhill from there.

Neither the waitress nor the tender (both young females) know what bourbon is. She says she only has one kind, but somehow I see that she has Beam. No Turkey, no Makers. No Ginger Ale.

Neither one of them knows what a fucking microbrew is, nor what a stout is. Guinness only in a bottle. Give me a fuckin' glass for it bitch, so I can slam the whole thing in front of you.

Royal Flushes come with an added bonus - pineapple juice. I drink it anyway, but tell her don't fuck it up again. She fucks it up twice more. Waitress and bartender both fail to understand what the words "service industry" mean.


Here's what I hate. These shitty trendy bars/clubs hire bitches who look good, but have no clue what a fucking martini is. I'll take my dive bar any day, fuck these "sports bars".

If I want to play sports I'll go outside. If I want to drink I'll go to the bar. If I want to combine them I'll play hockey with my water bottle full of bourbon.

I can't stand places that don't know how to run a bar. Can't wait until I have my own place.

[Mayhem]

I once came across a bartender who didn't know how to make a Bloody Mary.

[mormonholocaust]

I asked for a manhattan, which the bartender didn't know how to make. She asks me how to make one, and I describe how I want mine with half sweet and half dry vermouth. Several minutes later, the owner of the bar comes and asks me what is vermouth and other nonsense. I then point out the vermouth bottles, literally right behind her. That manhattan was made with Knob creek, and cost me $15, in a bar, in a mall, in a city of (at most) 50,000.

Knowing how to proper drinks seems to be a rare skill.

[Hardcore Stig]

I can understand the lack ofa cocktail knowledg, in a fast beer bar t's not essential, but fuck up cassics, know what the ell the spirits are called and for fuck's sake if someone tells you how they want theor drink, serve it that damn way. It ain;t service industry it's simple common courtesy.

[Cowboy Joe]

Sad, but it's the way we're headed. It's tragic when you can't get a Bombay martini made right.....

[fizzmaster]

I once came across a bartender who didn't know how to make a Bloody Mary.

That bartender should be dragged into the street and shot.

[Surreal]

There is something to be said for frequenting the same joint most every night. I walk into mine last night about 4:45pm. No sooner had I sat in the booth across from my buddy than a double Jamesons, rocks, in a proper glass, is set down in front of me.

Last Thursday, I was in a different bar [a bowling alley/bar] in a different town and not only did they not have any irish whiskey, when they served up my bourbon neat - it was Beam in a shot glass..... most of which spilled all of my hand as I tried to sing "It's Not Unusual" by Tom Jones into the Karaoke machine.

Tom Jones is always a crowd favorite on women's bowling night.

[Shane-O-Matic]

Was in a hotel bar for a friend's girlfriend's 21st birthday recently, and was somewhat disappointed when I asked for a measure of Lagavulin (I had located it) and and barmaid hadn't a clue what I was saying.

I mean, I live in Scotland.

[Resident Asshole]

Was in a hotel bar for a friend's girlfriend's 21st birthday recently, and was somewhat disappointed when I asked for a measure of Lagavulin (I had located it) and and barmaid hadn't a clue what I was saying.

I mean, I live in Scotland.

That's incredible to me. I can't even understand someone here in the US not knowing what you are saying. I mean if you work at a place cool enough to carry that, then you should damn well know what it is.

On a side note, the first time I had Lagavulin I was bartending and this chick came in for her birthday, it was her first time in the place. She said what's your best beer (to which I replied Deus, which is a Belgian made jointly by France and Belgium). It was a $40 bottle, which she bought and gave to me and my friend (luckily I can drink while I work).

Then she asked me for our best Scotch, which was Lagavulin (at least, IMO) and she bought that for us as well, at $10/shot.

We also have Talisker, Glenlivet and Glenfiddich 18, Laphroaig and a couple of others I am forgetting, but for my money Lagavulin is the best.

[Two Hearted]

FORTY dollars for a bottle of beer? Holy shit.
I'd never buy it myself, but would definitely accept a free bottle.

Sounds like your birthday girl was quite a generous lady.

[Surreal]

Was in a hotel bar for a friend's girlfriend's 21st birthday recently, and was somewhat disappointed when I asked for a measure of Lagavulin (I had located it) and and barmaid hadn't a clue what I was saying.

I mean, I live in Scotland.

Elvislution:

Great board-name. I assume it's from one of my favorite Mojo Nixon tune - "Elvis is Everywhere"?

Soon all will become Elvis.
Everything everywhere will be Elvis.
Why do you think they call it evolution anyway?
It's really Elvislution!
Elvislution!

Elvis is everywhere
Elvis is everything
Elvis is everybody
Elvis is still the king

-Surreal

[Shane-O-Matic]

RA: Hope you got the number off that chick, too. Lagavulin is a fine choice of whisky. Personally, i'm quite pleased with a bottle of Glenmorangie I received as a present yesterday. It seems someone forgot that my birthday was four months ago.

Surreal: Yes, indeed!

[peetie44]

Was in a hotel bar for a friend's girlfriend's 21st birthday recently, and was somewhat disappointed when I asked for a measure of Lagavulin (I had located it) and and barmaid hadn't a clue what I was saying.

I mean, I live in Scotland.

Lagavulin is the finest whisky on earth.

[redshift]

FORTY dollars for a bottle of beer? Holy shit.

^^^^^

[redshift]

Hope that beer is made of nectar from the angels of heaven and served by a mermaid.