One of my absolute favorite drinking spots is Woodland Cemetary in Dayton. StumblingDoug and I go up there in the middle of the night quite often, to drink with the great historical figures of Dayton past: the Wright Bros., Paul Lawrence Dunbar, Erma Bombeck, Matilda Stanley (Gypsy Queen of the U.S.), Adam Schantz (one of the first brewers in Dayton and all around good guy), just to name a few. Wait maybe there are just a few, but hey, it's Dayton fer crikes sake. It's like the highest point in the city and it's pretty old. I have found it to be a definite "high energy" spot.
So a week ago or so I was flirting with the cute big tittied receptionist at work and she mentioned how she is terrified of graveyards. (ding!) I said I could cure her of that and we made a date. I said "I'll pick you up Saturday after dark."
She was ready, all dressed in dark clothes and comfortable shoes, and I had a case of Bubwiser and a bottle of Sailor Jerry. We were good to go.
I'm fairly stupid but that cemetary is one thing I do know alot about, so I showed off all night. I know right where the best holes in the fence are. I know right where the best pee spots are. I know right where the coolest headstones are. I know right where the most haunted sites are. Even in the dark. It worked out great as she was so scared she could hardly let go of me long enough to piss. We had a good time, got smashed, and I came off like one cool cucumber.
Just today she professed her love for me, so I guess thats the end of that. Oh well.
Anyway, I've been drinking in quite a few graveyards, and this one has been my favorite for at least ten years now. Yeah I've met some wierdos and freaks up there, came out scraped and bruised from running into stones, and woke up a few times as the sun was coming up and had to run/hide from the caretaker hungover as hell, but it is still a place I can go when I don't want to sit at home and drink yet I don't want to go to a bar or to a friends house. I always come out of there feeling "at peace"...and drunker'n fuck.
A Death Song
Lay me down beneaf de willers in de grass,
Whah de branch 'll go a-singin'
as it pass.
An' w'en I's a-layin' low,
I kin hyeah it is as it go
Singin', “Sleep, my honey, tek yo' res at las'.”
Lay me nigh to whah hit meks a little pool,
An' de watah stan's so quiet lak an' cool,
Whah de little birds in spring,
Ust to come an' drink an' sing,
An' de chillen waded on dey way to school.
Let me settle w'en my shouldahs draps dey load
Nigh enough to hyeah de noises in de road;
Fu' I t'ink de las' long res'
Gwine to soothe my sperrit bes'
Ef I 's layin' 'mong de t'ings I's allus knowed.
Paul Laurence Dunbar