John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club and one
evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was
held to see who could deliver the best toast.
Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the
evening, "Here's To The Best Years o' Me Life, Spent Between The
Legs o' Me Wife."
When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how
the Toast Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest
for the best toast of the evening."
His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's
To The Best Years o' me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife."
His wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to include
me in your Toast."
The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into
the local policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters
meeting with John O'Riley. He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that
was some great toast that your husband John gave at the Toast
Masters meeting last evening. He won first prize."
"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite
honest with the facts: he's only been there twice, the first
time he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him out by
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