The MDEC Code

[Modern Drunkard]

Before we set out on the glorious road to adventure, it behooves us to lay down a credo. I'll start, and please feel free to join in.

Never refuse a drink. This is considered a grave insult by most drinking cultures. And besides, no matter how awful the local concoctions may seem at the time, they all taste the same when you regurgitate them later.

Be polite to the bartender. Bartenders the world over are keenly sensitive to slights, and you should always follow your strident instructions on how to properly mix a cocktail (as opposed to the vile poison just served you) with a hearty “You’re welcome!”

Tip well. Good tippers rarely start trouble, while bad tippers almost always do, regardless of who hit who with the bar stool first. Just ask any bartender.

Always spring to the aid of a fellow adventurer. If he asks you to summon a cab, for example, pretend to call one then complain bitterly about how unreliable the local cab companies are until closing time. He’ll thank you in the morning.

Respect local customs. A local female pouring a drink into your lap may well be the first step of an elaborate mating ritual. Full steam ahead!

[Wingman]

never forgit nothin' cash, flask, wine opener, i.d., church key, flask, shades, knife, bail, eye drops, antacid, credit card, etc.

Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning. this seems obvious.

When we march, we keep moving till dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us. or, you know, light. whatever.

If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate till we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em. divide and interrogate. basic anthropology. i reckon.

Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed this seems obvious.

Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force. or lost. or blacked out.

If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you. never allow the locals to outdrink you. we have to retain our godlike status. yes, it's humbug, but it's useful humbug.

Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down, lie down, hide behind a tree. running from the cops is illegal, and tiring. falling down behind a car is just drunk in public, which they already knew.

[TheBigCasino]

No glass shall go unfinished

and the ever present Jameson rule
Once a bottle of Jameson is opened, it must be finished

[Resident Asshole]

and the ever present Jameson rule
Once a bottle of Jameson is opened, it must be finished

Hehe.

Chivalry is not dead
If a lady seems to be in distress it is the manly drunkard duty to rescue them. Even if they are dancing with their suitor and seem happy, if whiskey tells you otherwise...punch the man in the face, grab her and her purse and run off to the next bar. And of course, with equality and all, allow her to buy the next round to repay you.

If any bar has WT101, you must drink it
80 proof doesn't count.

Tipping is required, paying your tab is not
As a bartender, I always remember those who tip me. Even if I have to pay their tab at the end of the night and hunt them down later, as long as they have tipped me well, I give. Of course if you are traversing into foreign land and might never return to the bar, it complicates things. But if that is the case, who cares?

Commemorate your excursion
Pictures are worth a thousand words, and in our case, a million drunken syllables.

[Booz Hound]

Any "club" that has a large line in front, "bottle service" and snotty bouncers with a "list" is the home of the enemy and not really a bar more of a inordinately expensive liquor store (see bottle service): Sure there's booze but you (and me) are probably not getting in and the occupants seem to be folks who actually don’t mind or perhaps enjoy paying $90 bucks for a fifth of Jim rather than buy it at the liquor store for $18 bucks. Scum.

[peetie44]

Tip your bartender/waitress but don't tip them over.

If there's a band playing in the bar, remember; the more you drink, the better they'll sound. And sometimes you gotta drink a lot.

[Mayhem]

If there's a band playing in the bar, remember; the more you drink, the better they'll sound. And sometimes you gotta drink a lot.

I used to work for those bands.

[Army Grunt]

never forgit nothin'
Have your musket clean as a whistle, hatchet scoured, sixty rounds powder and ball, and be ready to march at a minute's warning.
When we march, we keep moving till dark, so as to give the enemy the least possible chance at us.
If we take prisoners, we keep 'em separate till we have had time to examine them, so they can't cook up a story between 'em.
Don't ever march home the same way. Take a different route so you won't be ambushed
Every night you'll be told where to meet if surrounded by a superior force.
If somebody's trailing you, make a circle, come back onto your own tracks, and ambush the folks that aim to ambush you.
Don't stand up when the enemy's coming against you. Kneel down, lie down, hide behind a tree.

We've all read the Ranger handbook. Props for putting it into drunken terms though.

[Mr Boozificator]

If/when a general fight starts, always take the side of the staff, unless they have been behaving like cunts and underpouring, in which case you should be the one starting the fight.

When the locals start singing all together their local song, never join them unless you know perfectly all the lyrics or they're incredibly drunk (more than you are, that is).

Never eat abandoned peanuts.

If everyone is obviously drunker that you are, order doubles, see triples.

If the bar is a theme bar, look deeply interested by anything theme-related the bartender is willing to explain to you. Even if it's about marshmallows.

[Resident Asshole]

If/when a general fight starts, always take the side of the staff, unless they have been behaving like cunts and underpouring, in which case you should be the one starting the fight.

Since football season starts tomorrow, that reminds me of a story. Last year we tailgated for a noon game at MSU. We went to half of the game and they were blowing out the other team and we wanted to drink as our flasks were empty. My boy Jake and I get on the pool table at the local college bar.

A bunch of college fucks were already wasted (this was maybe 2pm) and started a fight at the other end of the bar where my girl was sitting. She is a small girl so of course I went over and jump in between 5 people. I grabbed the two who were the most violent and held them apart while the bouncers showed. They grabbed me and tried to throw me out!

As Boozy said, I simply told the guys hey I'm on your side, trying to help you out, I work at a bar too. They kicked the other guys out and bought me a drink.

[Bounced]

Never leave a fallen soldier behind. Be it a compatriot or a beverage. We left enough behimd on that damned bloody hill...

[Wingman]

We've all read the Ranger handbook. Props for putting it into drunken terms though.

it seemed appropriate. cheers, soldier!

Never leave a fallen soldier behind. Be it a compatriot or a beverage.

heh.

[Army Grunt]

We've all read the Ranger handbook. Props for putting it into drunken terms though.

it seemed appropriate. cheers, soldier!

Works for me. Cheers!

[GetDrunkStayDrunk]

Dress appropriately No matter how much you want to be like Frank Sinatra a tux just isn't appropriate for a dive, your 'Female Body Inspector' shirt isn't appropriate anywhere.

[Resident Asshole]

Dress appropriately No matter how much you want to be like Frank Sinatra a tux just isn't appropriate for a dive, your 'Female Body Inspector' shirt isn't appropriate anywhere.

What about "I can tell your boobs are fake"? Got that shirt from a buddy and enjoying it.