Submit "You know you're a drunkard when . . ."

[Barca]

....you bring a bottle to church to "Irish" up Jesus's blood.

....you have a flask stashed in the back of every squad car in town...for later.

....you think the "public option" is a a repeal of open container laws.

....Jagermeister sends promotional girls to your mini-bar.

....you have a backup generator for the kegerator in your shower.

....you currently have grapes in your cheek to make "mouth wine."

....your bar securitized your tab and insured it with AIG.

[Oggar]

You come to from a feverish nightmare wherein you'd run out of booze. Luckily it was only a nightmare.

[Mr Boozificator]

There are only two kinds of bartenders: those trying to have you pay your tab and those who don't know you.
The second kind belongs to an alternate timeline.

[Wingman]

sharks have a week dedicated to me.













oh, wait, that's different....

[Dirty Lou]

The only thing that gets you out of bed is the idea of a breakfast McMixeddrink.

It takes you 10 minutes to walk in and exchange hello's at the bar... and it's only 4 feet from the door to the bar.

The phrase "You don't don't remember me, do you?" is turned into a game of Jeopardy.

You need a drink just to get ready for your first drink of the day.

Vodka and Taco Bell Salsa on ice has actually been considered.

Roo, you scumbag! Goatf*cker. Miss you man.
Barca, damn good to see/read you. Gotta getta into that midwest soon & see you two. C has fam in Milwaukee.

Love,
Louie

[dascott]

Five or more bars think of you as a loyal regular that lives in their establishment

[Mr Boozificator]

Your room-mate died 12 weeks ago, but you're doing with the smell and presence and the corpse in the living room: a new roomy might try to steal some of your beer just like this guy did.

[Bur]

when you wake up in unknown location at unknown time and instead of "where is my home?" your first concern is "where the fuck can I get booze in here?".

[Booz Hound]

You know the closest liquer stores to wherever you happen to be.. in 2 states.

[Resident Asshole]

you schedule the day you have a dinner date based on the best happy hour

you have convinced your regular to carry your favorite bottle of bourbon

you think it's saturday night and drink like it is, only to realize it's sunday night and you have to work in the morning

you puke just to make your stomach feel better and have room for more booze

rumpleminz is a breath mint for the road

you'd rather have sex when drunk because you last longer

[Mr Boozificator]

The only chocolates you can eat are the liquored ones.

[Crystal]

rumpleminz is a breath mint for the road

I have done this.

[Mr Boozificator]

The idea of a full beer bottle in the fridge keeps you awake at night.

[Dirty Lou]

7a.m. sounds like a good time for an "eye opener".

You decide to bounce between liquor stores, ya know, so the staff don't think you are a total drunk.

Shower? I don't need a shower.

You look at bruises with disdain.

Your clothing is more "urban camouflage" than considered a fashion.

Okay, there is a comment I'm kinda borderline on. Rude, crude, aggressive, dirty, nasty.

You drunks put together 5 comments that say you want to actually hear it..., well I guess I gotta post it.

[Mr Boozificator]

You use bourbon to soften up your whiskey.