One of the greatest things about living in Kansas is watching the annual Royals fans' Spring Psychotic Breakdown.
Every March, the Royals are assumed to have the best farm system ever, and every March, each local sports talk guy tries to one-up all the others.
It goes something like this:
Guy 1: Well, I think, if the young talent comes together, the team has a good chance at making .500 this year.
Guy 2: No way! The young guys will come together, and they have an outside shot at the playoffs!
Guy 1: Outside shot? Bullshit! With a little pitching, they win the division, and with a little luck, the win the pennant!
Guy 3: YOU BOF STOOPID! EVEWY WOYALL IN HALL OW FAME AND WOYALLS WIN WOOD SEWIES!!
Strangely enough, nobody ever contradicts Guy 3. For some reason, his word becomes law.
This, of course, makes it much more interesting when a certain baseball club from Kansas City starts the season by tripping over their collective dicks, as the Royals do every year.
Now, the above "guy 1 guy2" thing was a dramatization. The following sentence is fact.
Yesterday on my lunch break, while listening to a sportstalk radio station out of KC, I heard two radio guys discuss the viability of major league baseball FORCING David Glass to sell the team to somebody who, if I may paraphrase, might actually give a shit. The Royals, at the time of the broadcast, were 3 and 6.
Most of the year's suicidals will probably do the job before Memorial Day.
Oh, that? Yeah, I did that, it's my fault. I'm sorry.