Homer J Simpson

by **Feezy Tannenbaum** » Fri Apr 15, 2005 4:09 pm

Lenny says:

Alcohol and night-swimming. It's a winning combination.

That line kills me.... Sorry if it's a repost, but I am too drunk and lazy to go through all 7 pages of quotes right now..........

by **Miss Conception** » Tue Sep 27, 2005 8:54 pm

"My name is Otto and I like to get blotto!"

"But Marge, I'm a ragaholic. I'm addicted to ragahol." -Homer J.

by **Prismhead** » Mon Oct 24, 2005 10:17 am

Homer(singing to the chumbawumba song): I take a whiskey drink! I take a vodka drink! And when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink!!

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."

"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not
whether you win or lose... it's how drunk you get.

by **jetboatdeath** » Tue Nov 08, 2005 11:10 pm

AWWWW only one beer left and it's Barts...

by **knumbskull** » Sun Feb 26, 2006 7:03 am

Marge: 'You set off the fire alarm at 6 in the morning to drag us to a beer festival?'
Homer: 'I know, I'm a character.'

and my favourite:

Homer: 'Expand my brain, learning juice!' [drinks a beer]

by **Rowdydrunk79** » Sun May 21, 2006 5:09 pm

“I’m a Drunk! I don’t know nothin’ about how I do anything."
- Barney Grumble

by **JohnnyT** » Thu May 25, 2006 10:57 am

Dr. Hibbert: Homer, you've ingested a dangerous amount of alcohol.

Drunk Homer: The only dangerous amount of alcohol is none!

by **Oggar** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 7:43 am

Loudmouth Texan: "Gimme a bottle of Bourbon! I got a new liver and I'm breakin' it in!"

Homer holdind a beer aloft: "Expand my brain learning juce!"

Lisa: Oh I feel so sick.
Homer: It's called a hangover sweetie and it's an unavoidable part of life.

Richard Dean Anderson: People are going yo know I'm missing! There's a liquor store I go to every morning!

Homer: I recently tried this thing called Beer.
Marge: *Gasp* I remember everything! You get drunk all the time!
Homer: Oh, but do you also remember that you're an enabler?
Marge: Of course I do, that's why we're such a great team.

by **JohnnyT** » Tue Oct 24, 2006 10:09 am

Homer is looking for volunteers to join his new law enforcement group, SpringShield.

Barney's response: "I can't help you Homer, I'm a coward, like all recovering alcoholics."

by **Oggar** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 12:18 pm

Lenny: So I says to the cop, "No you're driving ubder the influence- of being a jerk!"

Barney: Why would I not *glug glug* remember my own birthday party?

Homer: Oh, I don't wanna walk that far. Anything that takes twelve steps- isn't worth doing!

by **Oggar** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 12:23 pm

Moe: Every bar needs a world clas drunk.
Lenny: Someone who makes our alcoholism seem less raging.

by **Owasso Bulldog** » Tue Dec 05, 2006 3:28 pm

Bart: "Can I hold the baby?"
Homer: "No, but you can hold my beer", sets it on Bart's head.

and of course see me sig.

by **147** » Wed Dec 13, 2006 9:26 pm

homer: "Stealing? How could you?! Haven’t you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what’s-his-name? We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn’t hear anybody laughin’, did you? except at that guy who made sound effects *does sound effects* *laughs* ... where was i? ... oh yeah stay out of my boose!"

by **147** » Sat Dec 16, 2006 3:10 am

Bart: "I was at the flower shop."
Homer: “Oh yeah, I was at the flower shop too...
yep...getting drunk at the old flower shop.”

by **Steelhead** » Sat Jan 06, 2007 12:20 am

So I said to him, "Look, buddy, your car was upside down when we got here.
And as for your Grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that!"
-Homer Jay

Homer J Simpson

Homer quotes

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