Twelve foot long purple passion

[ThirstyDrunk]

This happened quite a few years ago, and it's an offshoot of a thread in the pub, but I thought I would post it here so noone would read it.

My buddy and I along with our girlfriends are at our favorite bar in the drink district, lets call it the Trolley Stop, sittin gupstairs where you can play euchre and still hear the blues band playig downstairs, and methodically get hammered.
We play cards all night and get sufficiently tanked, but as we're ready to leave one of the girls mentions how much they would like to have this plant that is in the window next to us. My friend and I thought we were just the gentlemen to oblige, so I went to get the getaway car.
As I came around the corner in my car i could see myy girl leaning out of the upstairs window of the bar, dropping this plant down to my buddy on the sidewalk, who proceeds to walk as nonchalantly as possible to my car. He's dragging this twelve foot long plant across the street and looking as casual as he can, but hwen he opens the passenger door of my car and sets the plant on the seat he says "We're busted".
Thats when i saw he cruiser pull up next to me. The cops ha dseen everything and informed us that our ass was grass. They even dug through the trash on the flooboard of my car and found my leopardskin brass bowl I hadn't seen for two months. unbelievable.
So me and my buddy are cuffed and leaning on the hood of the police cruiser, it's a Saturday night so theres a shitload of people around, when these two guys come by, I think they were indians, saying "haha you fuckin white boys," and whatever else. the neareast cop tells them to move along and they say "Suck my dick you fucking pig", and grab their balls at him. Well no cop is gonna take this so he goes off after them.
He chases them, they duck into a side door, the cop follows them , and ten seconds later comes back out this door with like ten dudes on him.

At this point my buddy and I can't believe our eyes, the whole area has erupted and within minutes every police unit int he town is right next to us.

After the commotion they finally loaded us up to go downtown. We're in the back of the cop car and we get tothe end of the drink district, where theres an Arby's. We're sitting at the light and the guy in the car next to us is trying to get the police's attention to the Arby's parking lot. We all look to hwere he's pointing and there is a guy in the phone from your car thing, standing there whackin off. I mean it's drive up phone, not really suitable for standing and spanking. As we pull in the Arby's parking lot, my buddy says "Man, you're not gonna put him back here with us are you".
We get downtown, and luckily they put the other dudes (the cops said they were indians) in another cell because they got loud and violent adn eventually got their faces beat in


The same police officers that took us in came up to us before our court appointment. They had a deal for us if we told our story because the indian guys were claiming police brutality.
I never heard another word about it.

[Resident Asshole]

That's awesome. What city was this in? And yes, I'm reading this a little shy of 4 years after you posted it.

[ThirstyDrunk]

Aaah yes, the plant theft fiasco. I don't remember posting this at all but my buddy and I still recite the story on occasion. We were in Dayton ohio, the party area is called the Oregon District. Everything from Fine dining and wine to biker bars and college clubs.
The officers who took us in told the court to let us off because of the whole police brutality claim, and I remember the prosecutor telling the judge "...apparently the theft of one Purple Passion plant, which is now back in custody of the original owners and is thriving in the sunshine as we speak."
The judge looked at me and said "Had a little too much fun that night huh?". I answered yes and they let us go.

Cheers, R.A.

[redshift]

Holy shit! This is a story from the depths of time!

[beerkegbilly]

weird night wow