Another God Damn Joke Thread

[BeerMakesMeSmart]

Wow.

[Smatter Noguts]

What's in a Trayvon cocktail?

Just one shot, but you'll feel like someone's slamming your head on the sidewalk.

[beerkegbilly]

What's in a Trayvon cocktail?

Just one shot, but you'll feel like someone's slamming your head on the sidewalk.

Funny as hell man.

[beerkegbilly]

A drunken man stagger in a Catholic church and sits down in a confession box but says nothing.

The bewildered priest coughs to get his attention,but the drunk still says nothing.

The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a finally attempt to get the drunk to speak

Finally the drunk replies "No use knocking man- there's no paper in this either

Caught speeding
Woman:Is there a problem officer.
Officer:Ma'am you where speeding.
Woman: Oh I see.
Officer:Can I see your license please.
Woman:I'd you one but I don't have one.
Officer :Don't have one?
Woman:Lost it four for drunk driving.
Office:I see...Can I see your vehicle registration paper please.
Woman:I can't do that.
Officer:why not ?
Woman: I stole this car.
Officer:Stole it ?
Woman:Yes and killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer:You what?
Woman:His body parts are in a plastic bag in my trunk if you want to see.

The officer looks at the woman and slowly backs to hiss car and calls for backup.Within minutes five police cars circle the car.A senior officer slowly approaches the car,Clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2:Ma'am step out of your vehicle please!
the woman steps out of her vehicle.
Woman: Is there problem sir.
Officer2:One of the officer told me you stole this car and murdered the owner
Woman:Murdered the owner.
Officer2:Yes,could you please open the trunk of your car.
The woman opens the trunk revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer2:Is this your car,Ma'am
Woman:Yes ,here is the registration papers.
The first officer is stunned.
Officer2:One of my officers claims you don't have a drivers license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.The officer snaps open the purse
and examines the license he look quite puzzle
Officer2: Thank you ma'am one of my officers told me you you didn't have a license and you stole this car and murdered and hacked up the owner.
Woman:Betcha the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

[Palmwine Drunkard]

A Zen Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and asks, "Make we one with everything."

Haha!Got us!

[JimLahey]

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple waits 'till you're at least 12 before it comes on your face.