BEST DRUNK DIAL QUOTE/LINE

[Mr Boozificator]

"loosing your glass would be like like... shoving this phone up your ass you know, painful. I think?"

[Bob Young]

Sometime ago, about 2 years ago. I got the first season of "The Man Show".
In one of the episodes they do this skit on beef jerky.
A friend of mine and myself where watching the show and drinking a couple of beers before a party.
We laughed and made a vow that during the course of the night, we would procure some Beef Jerky. I forgot about it some 30 seconds later.
About 16 hours later. I awoke naked and in the front seat of my car parked in a vacant lot. Not to mention that myself and the entire of the interior of my car was covered in beef jerky. It looked like I had a damn orgy with beef jerky in my car.
At first glance my clothes where in the back seat. Good.
Why they we're back there? I dont know, but im glad all the same to see them.
I put on my pants, got out of the car and stumbled behind an abandoned building to take a major piss.
As I head back to the car I check my pants for clues as to what happened last night.
No major leads, though I did manage to locate the keys to the car. The gods where clearly smiling upon me.
With no idea as to what happened to my friend from the night before or any real idea as to where I was. I began to drive.
Found the interstate by complete luck and headed home.
Made it home. Another miracle. I must be one of gods apostles.
I take a shower and head to work, hoping my friend (Who is also my coworker and scheduled today) shows up and is not dead.
I get there and he's already there looking about as hungover as myself (about an 8 out of 10 on the hangover scale).
I then begin to have the pieces of the night slowly put into place. For you see my "friend" did not black out.
He told me about going to a diner at about 3am. Getting some amazing food which I have no recollection of.
Then heading over to the gas station next door to get some cigarettes.
He said I was walking up the isle and as soon as I saw the beef jerky I started to flip out.
At the top of my lungs I screamed "BEEF JERKY, MAN!!!!!!".
The cashier was in tears with laughter with how excited I was about finding and purchasing all of the Beef Jerky in the store.
I apparently was acting like a little kid.
Well that explains the beef jerky but why was I naked when I woke up?
This was the first my friend heard this news. He lost it.
Him- "You woke up naked?"
ME- "In the drivers seat."

[Fabricsoftner]

Sometime ago, about 2 years ago. I got the first season of "The Man Show".
In one of the episodes they do this skit on beef jerky.
A friend of mine and myself where watching the show and drinking a couple of beers before a party.
We laughed and made a vow that during the course of the night, we would procure some Beef Jerky. I forgot about it some 30 seconds later.
About 16 hours later. I awoke naked and in the front seat of my car parked in a vacant lot. Not to mention that myself and the entire of the interior of my car was covered in beef jerky. It looked like I had a damn orgy with beef jerky in my car.
At first glance my clothes where in the back seat. Good.
Why they we're back there? I dont know, but im glad all the same to see them.
I put on my pants, got out of the car and stumbled behind an abandoned building to take a major piss.
As I head back to the car I check my pants for clues as to what happened last night.
No major leads, though I did manage to locate the keys to the car. The gods where clearly smiling upon me.
With no idea as to what happened to my friend from the night before or any real idea as to where I was. I began to drive.
Found the interstate by complete luck and headed home.
Made it home. Another miracle. I must be one of gods apostles.
I take a shower and head to work, hoping my friend (Who is also my coworker and scheduled today) shows up and is not dead.
I get there and he's already there looking about as hungover as myself (about an 8 out of 10 on the hangover scale).
I then begin to have the pieces of the night slowly put into place. For you see my "friend" did not black out.
He told me about going to a diner at about 3am. Getting some amazing food which I have no recollection of.
Then heading over to the gas station next door to get some cigarettes.
He said I was walking up the isle and as soon as I saw the beef jerky I started to flip out.
At the top of my lungs I screamed "BEEF JERKY, MAN!!!!!!".
The cashier was in tears with laughter with how excited I was about finding and purchasing all of the Beef Jerky in the store.
I apparently was acting like a little kid.
Well that explains the beef jerky but why was I naked when I woke up?
This was the first my friend heard this news. He lost it.
Him- "You woke up naked?"
ME- "In the drivers seat."

Anytime you wake up naked, covered in beef jerky, you know you had a good night.

[Bob Young]

Sometime ago, about 2 years ago. I got the first season of "The Man Show".
In one of the episodes they do this skit on beef jerky.
A friend of mine and myself where watching the show and drinking a couple of beers before a party.
We laughed and made a vow that during the course of the night, we would procure some Beef Jerky. I forgot about it some 30 seconds later.
About 16 hours later. I awoke naked and in the front seat of my car parked in a vacant lot. Not to mention that myself and the entire of the interior of my car was covered in beef jerky. It looked like I had a damn orgy with beef jerky in my car.
At first glance my clothes where in the back seat. Good.
Why they we're back there? I dont know, but im glad all the same to see them.
I put on my pants, got out of the car and stumbled behind an abandoned building to take a major piss.
As I head back to the car I check my pants for clues as to what happened last night.
No major leads, though I did manage to locate the keys to the car. The gods where clearly smiling upon me.
With no idea as to what happened to my friend from the night before or any real idea as to where I was. I began to drive.
Found the interstate by complete luck and headed home.
Made it home. Another miracle. I must be one of gods apostles.
I take a shower and head to work, hoping my friend (Who is also my coworker and scheduled today) shows up and is not dead.
I get there and he's already there looking about as hungover as myself (about an 8 out of 10 on the hangover scale).
I then begin to have the pieces of the night slowly put into place. For you see my "friend" did not black out.
He told me about going to a diner at about 3am. Getting some amazing food which I have no recollection of.
Then heading over to the gas station next door to get some cigarettes.
He said I was walking up the isle and as soon as I saw the beef jerky I started to flip out.
At the top of my lungs I screamed "BEEF JERKY, MAN!!!!!!".
The cashier was in tears with laughter with how excited I was about finding and purchasing all of the Beef Jerky in the store.
I apparently was acting like a little kid.
Well that explains the beef jerky but why was I naked when I woke up?
This was the first my friend heard this news. He lost it.
Him- "You woke up naked?"
ME- "In the drivers seat."

Anytime you wake up naked, covered in beef jerky, you know you had a good night.

Never have truer words been spoken.

[fdoosey]

My favorite DD involved 2 voicemails from massive.

The first was pre-drunk. "Frank, I got a bottle of tequila. I'm gonna call you later and leave you a great message."
Sometimes during the night: "*high-pitched moaning* fuck... *sobbing/moaning* I'm so drunk.... *click*"

Sometimes, less is more.

[NYDingbat]

Everything Dirty Lou just uttered on a DD walk home from his local bath house.

[beerkegbilly]

Okay I got one I alway tell on girlfriends this What are you wearing and lets do some sexing I'm drunk

[beerkegbilly]

is your sister there can she come to the phone

[ThirstyDrunk]

i we tall did

[Savage]

Having an entire conversation with the other person thinking you are someone else, and then later finding out that you weren't talking to the person you thought you were. Talking to. Well, it was surreal and amusing. But you had to be there. In the way we weren't.

[redshift]

Having an entire conversation with the other person thinking you are someone else, and then later finding out that you weren't talking to the person you thought you were. Talking to. Well, it was surreal and amusing. But you had to be there. In the way we weren't.

Cocaine's a hell of a drug!

[Savage]

Having an entire conversation with the other person thinking you are someone else, and then later finding out that you weren't talking to the person you thought you were. Talking to. Well, it was surreal and amusing. But you had to be there. In the way we weren't.

Cocaine's a hell of a drug!

I wouldn't know. Tell us about it.

[beerkegbilly]

(before) sorry of waking you up a burp on the phone they hey can I buy some pot off you you want to send you nude photo of your wife to my friend

[beerkegbilly]

Call you friends and yell I'M going to kick your ass if you talk. then hangup call about a hour later and laugh at him

[beerkegbilly]

if no one answer call three or four times and if some one picks up just tell them wrong number