The Best Excuse to Drink Today

[Miklo]

best excuse to drink today: because were all awake!!!

[Bob Young]

cause how else are you gonna get drunk.

[captain gonzo]

Because theres too much alcohol in the world!

[Savage]

cause how else are you gonna get drunk.

Yeah like, yeah. So obvious, but so true.

[Bob Young]

I drink because its Thursday...

[Savage]

I drink because its Thursday...

Oh shit! It's Thursday already? I was supposed to do something on Thursday. I wish I could remember what it was.

[nic the chick]

because i seem to be coming down with throat death.
pear cider and sj hot toddies for me!!!!

[Bob Young]

Because its Friday...

[captain gonzo]

Because i feel like shit...and alcohol kills germs

[Savage]

And I forgot the green beans. In a can. Damn!

[The Goat]

Because I didn't drink yesterday!

[Bob Young]

Because I have off tomorrow.

[Savage]

Because it is there.

[Bob Young]

"Well, you see, MDM, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, MDM, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Cheers.

[Savage]

"Well, you see, MDM, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it's the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that, MDM, is why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
Cheers.

Best. T.V. quote, ever.