The Bender Defined

[oneroundko]

I had a couple nights where my dad had to come down and shut my Pink Floyd off because I had Division Bell on repeat too loud. I didn't even remember the next day that he told me.

It got bad though when I left a pizza in the oven and I almost burnt the house down--prior to which I was leaving burners on on the stove and I wasn't even aware of it. Now those are genuine bender issues there indeed.

You sound like me with the music. I find all sorts of anime songs on a loop when I wake up, lol. I got the Full Metal Alchemist theme to have a play count of 200 over night.

As for the oven, I'm the opposite. I have this weird ability that allows me to wake up (no matter how badly passed out) and turn off the oven right when the food would be ready...and thats without a timer. Creeps everyone out who sees it. Now when I do cause a fire...its on purpose but I never remember because I blacked out.

You have that internal timer. I used to sort of be like that, but after about 7 years being drunk 5 days (give or take a day) a week I think I'm starting to lose some brain cells. That's life. F--- it, it's a b---- anyway.

Cheers.

[The Drunken Songstress]

I had a couple nights where my dad had to come down and shut my Pink Floyd off because I had Division Bell on repeat too loud. I didn't even remember the next day that he told me.

It got bad though when I left a pizza in the oven and I almost burnt the house down--prior to which I was leaving burners on on the stove and I wasn't even aware of it. Now those are genuine bender issues there indeed.

You sound like me with the music. I find all sorts of anime songs on a loop when I wake up, lol. I got the Full Metal Alchemist theme to have a play count of 200 over night.

As for the oven, I'm the opposite. I have this weird ability that allows me to wake up (no matter how badly passed out) and turn off the oven right when the food would be ready...and thats without a timer. Creeps everyone out who sees it. Now when I do cause a fire...its on purpose but I never remember because I blacked out.

You have that internal timer. I used to sort of be like that, but after about 7 years being drunk 5 days (give or take a day) a week I think I'm starting to lose some brain cells. That's life. F--- it, it's a b---- anyway.

Cheers.

Uh oh! I hope I don't start to loose my drunken super powers...

[Oggar]

This is about the cheapening of the beender. It MUST be at least a week. If you disagree go fuck yourself you do not get it. Clark is a retard good ridance to the one post wonder.

DPaW I said natural enemy, I'm inclined to allow your difference of opinion here.


This is an announcement for a reason idiots, you don't debate unanimous rulings.

[devo]

do you get bonus points for waking up in mexican jail?

[The Drunken Songstress]

do you get bonus points for waking up in mexican jail?

I'd say yes!

[oneroundko]

This is about the cheapening of the beender. It MUST be at least a week. If you disagree go fuck yourself you do not get it. Clark is a retard good ridance to the one post wonder.

DPaW I said natural enemy, I'm inclined to allow your difference of opinion here.


This is an announcement for a reason idiots, you don't debate unanimous rulings.

I agree. However, you'll have to be a little more clear about the duration between drinkage. For example, I'll wake up some days at around 8 or 10 in the morning, then hammer down another 3-4 beers with a shot or two and a couple meds, then I'll wake up another 2 hours later (piss drunk) and stumble off for my days agenda, then by the time I get back it may just be comming off (probably about 4 hours later) and I get right back to my drink. That is within the guidlelines, as far as I'm concerned.

(my previous post about the 5 days give ore take was a little misleading. That means that some weeks I may be on for 7, followed by another 7 day strech and then perhaps a 3 day week, followed by 3 etc.)

[devo]

ok sooe thus is day tree. i'm aiming for 8 as thus seemd to be the maker or break poinr. doing well. will updare. on lasr years vacarion time. got to wakl elvis. later.

[Barca]

More bender truths from the Barcalounge:

It's been said in various ways before, but I feel it needs to be said again. The only purpose of the Bender is the Drink. At no point, should there be any goal but Drink and More Drink. The only thing one is allowed to seek is the Drink. The important thing to realize is that the Bender will provide. At some point the Bender will manifest food, it'll manifest sleeping quarters, it may also manifest sex, travel, grooming, and sundry equipment for eluding law enforcement. The Bender will protect itself. All that is necessary is that you commit to the Bender and search out the Boozahol, it, as Alcohol is wont to do, will provide for all your needs.

[gary05]

I most whole heartedly agree the bender will provide for itself it becomes controlling and inevitably you give in to it and are glad thst you have done .You re in safe hands let the alcohol rule and take you where ever you want to go.
I did i took a taxi into town and walked along the river with extra strong lager beers the kind alcos drink and loved it.I entered the world i would love to be in i had wings and floated.
I have an alcohol fetish but hey i love it.
Vodka rules .
iM AN ALCOHOLIC and gay lookin for the same dare i sAY IT

cHEERS
Gary xxx

[bud717]

do you get bonus points for waking up in mexican jail

yes

[Borracho]

My definition of the bender revolves around two main issues:

First, can you remember in any meaningful way the last time you were undrunk... We all pass out for various times, sleep is an essential thing, but if you are waking up and having booze for breakfast, at some point it becomes very difficult to remember what the world looked like when you were undrunk..

The second is are you focusing on any waking activity besides getting pottted? I think even for people with jobs, when you are strugling though a few moments of work, its easier for some of us than others, and then hitting the trail again, you are probably on a bender, since I can remember lots of recent days when I was teaching and holding on to the rail of the teaching station since I was swaying so bad I literally was about to fall over. When I got finished with that, I went home and took off again, and then woke up the next day facing more brief periods of trying to project me lectures, but luckily, they are very ingrained at this point, and given the disinterested state of students, hanging on to the podium works just fine...

Borracho

[bud717]

Kudos. This goes a good way in the search for a working definition of a "BENDER." I think that the word gets too liberal a use.

One thing that I would add is some sort of guidelines as to what amount (all relative) of alcohol is required to constitute a 'bender.' It should be a sliding scale, but with a minimum.

"Oh, man...I've drank six days in a row; I'm on a bender." Wrong. If you've drank a ususal amount of alcoholic beverages, it's just drinking, it is not a bender. Somebody was saying something of being on a 1.75L a week 'bender.' If you normally don't drink every night and now you've gone seven days with three drinks a day; that is not a bender.

I guess it's just easier to define via negativa, which is how Aquinas defined, or attempted to define God. Coincidence?

I

One of the scenes in "Barfly" (one of the geat great drinking movies of the last 25 years) Buk (played by Mickey Rourke) is applying for a job. The interviewer (wearing black stockings and a short skirt) asks " there are a lot gaps in your employment history. To which Mick replies : Hey, it takes a real to make it without a job.": I wish a had the guts. . . . .

[Dr. Dotto S. Blotto]

How does one go on a bender and keep one's self stimulated throughout the adventure?...

Booze. Lots of booze.

picking a country or area of the globe and traveling through their different boozes always works for me.

[hoverdog]

It seems to me a proper bender is something akin to the asceticism of mystics. Subjecting the body to extremes will result in experiences we used to consider holy. Whether or not someone considers this a religious experience doesn't really matter, it's about transcending the flesh. It is an abyss some never return from (just consider the human ruins drinking window cleaner), but if you do, you will be a better person for it.

[Oggar]

Say what you will. Here's my point in a nutshell.. Don't cheapen the term bender because your "impressive" feat of drinking for three days in a row doesn't measure up.

But the more I read the Barca quote that touched this off the less I agree with it. The bender will not provide the world, mankind, nature all seek to break the bender. Only your willpower and an ability for mechanical repetition can keep it going. Something that can tax the body, mind, and soul the way a real bender will, isn't easy. Once again the Old Man and the fish.