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The Beauty in the Blackout

The Beauty in the Blackout

I'm lying in bed with my consort of the moment, staring at the ceiling with a loud white void glaring garishly in my memory. There...
Bartender's Burden

Bartender’s Burden

You’re an idiot. Maybe you know it, maybe you don’t. Maybe you’ve heard it from dozens of people, but you were kinda drunk at the...
Natty Light

Strange Brews: Natty Light

“Natty” (or “Unnatural Light,” as it’s also called) has long been the unofficial beer of students and the cash-strapped everywhere. As the market analysts say,...
Johnette Napolitano

Drunkard of the Issue #60: Johnette Napolitano

Tell us about your first drink: My Dad had a converted fridge on the back porch for draft beer. We used to love to...
Apocalypse Ilsan

Apocalypse Ilsan

Outside my home in Ilsan, South Korea is a pedestrian arcade we call "Meat Street." It has a real name, but like all streets...
Jeppson's Malort

Strange Brews: Jeppson’s Malort

I don’t know how many countries actually signed the Evil Booze Nonproliferation Treaty of 1903, but we can safely say it was a total...

Bout 4: Blackbeard the Pirate Vs. Truman Capote

Who is the greatest boozer of all time? We've posed that question before. In 2002 we  resurrected 16 of the history's hardest-pounding hoochers and squared them...

The Drinking Dead, Part II: Barhopping in Hell

Click here for Part One. I rounded the corner and nearly collided with a wheelchaired zombie parked in the middle of the sidewalk. I mumbled...
Salamander Brandy

Strange Brews: Salamander Brandy

Slovenia is an oft-overlooked nation of two million people in central Europe. Among its contributions to humanity are dazzling architecture, fine pastries, and a...
Strange Brews

Strange Brews

Choctaw Beer Before he was known across the country as Pretty Boy Floyd, the outlaw Charles Floyd was known in his Eastern Oklahoma hometown as...
Choctaw Beer

Strange Brews: Choctaw Beer

Before he was known across the country as Pretty Boy Floyd, the outlaw Charles Floyd was known in his Eastern Oklahoma hometown as “Choc.” This...
The Great Eggnog Riot

The Great Eggnog Riot

Sylvanus Thayer—whose name sounds like a lizard-rat-man hybrid Lord Voldemort would keep caged for dark-magic rape rituals—took command of West Point in 1817. Within a...

You Know You’re a Drunkard When… Archives

Your favorite color is wine. “Taking the edge off” sometimes transitions into “Good morning! Where the fuck am I?” You like to have a drink between...
Wino Wisdom

Wino Wisdom: 60

“I’m supposed to be at work. But then, if I were at work, I’d supposed to be here.” Chuck explores alternate realities while day-drinking at...

You Know You’re a Drunkard When…

Your drinking doesn’t interfere with your job so much as your job interferes with your drinking. When your neighbor called the cops on you without...
News From the Front

A Word to the Young Widow of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

Anita Thompson, the young widow of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, recently announced she will open up the great man’s Owl Farm compound as a...

Postcards from Skid Row

What’s your pleasure? Dry martini, desert dry Gin, with a splash, or just whisper “vermouth” Invest in the best you can afford Dividends yield a better night, a...

Ask Dr. Buuz-Hund: Beer Bellies and Sperm Counts

Dear Dr. Buuz-Hund Can you help me with my beer belly? My six-pack abs are starting to look more like a keg. The only advice...
Rip Griffin 60

Rip Griffin, Drinking Detective: Pop Goes the Weasel

Pop was coming down to Denver for a visit so I was at Argonaut Liquors stocking up on Tullamore Dew and Harp’s lager. My dad,...
Wino Wisdom

Wino Wisdom: Archives

Submit your wisdom here. “Glass of water with a Beam chaser. I'm only half on the wagon.” No stranger to compromise orders a round at Three...

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